If you are reading this it’s a give away to my story, sorry for that but……

I’m retirement age. Can you imagine the audacity of thinking I can reinvent myself and catapult my dreams to a new successful life?

Ha!  If you only knew what I am starting with then you would really understand the absurdity of it all. I’ll try and paint a picture 

“The Comeback Kid”

Besides age of course – when others are retiring and slowing down, I’m ramping up wanting more out of life besides doctor visits, golf and knitting. But the years have ravaged me to the point of ill health, and that is what my story might be about ‘The Comeback Kid’. You really don’t have to succumb to the aging process and all the agony that goes with it. I’m making this a science experiment to see if all the ‘healing thy self’ talk is for real.

Firstly, there are the anxieties that have plagued my life for the past 35 years. I developed severe claustrophobia during my 6th pregnancy. I seemed to manage limiting my life experiences and work places as they didn’t trigger an attack. No planes, elevators, or crowds. It has been hard watching the world having fun while I stayed in my safe space but I learned to live with it. 

How To Lose Yourself

I maintained a healthy weight till my 40’s. Then I forgot myself and my love of physical fitness and became hot dog mom, field trip mom, meals on wheels mom. I soon became absorbed into being the best possible mom I could be to 5 active children – one of my pregnancies ended in miscarriage.

My children were involved in hockey, soccer, baseball, dance, equestrian, gymnastics and art.  I also had part time jobs to help provide funding for all these activities.  In my mid 40’s a full-time career developed while still managing a busy household.  If that wasn’t enough, I felt a need to volunteer in the community and church.  And, by this time, a few good additional pounds became my constant companion.  With continued unsuccessful attempts I still hold onto this trophy of a life lived with mismanaged stress.

OK so…. I was always physically healthy until my mid 50’s. Enter doctors into my life. If only I knew then what I know now. 

Can I Please Sue Someone!

Doctor 1 & 2: I had a sore. A doctor prescribed penicillin as it might be mrsa-although no test was done.  More dollar sized sores.  More penicillin prescribed. It kept getting worse.  Three bouts of penicillin were given. It took three months to get an appointment to a dermatologist who spent 2 minutes with me. Diagnosis “it’s an allergic reaction to penicillin.” Can I please sue someone!  

At that point it was the worst summer of my life. Months dealing with the pain of head-to-toe dollar size lesions let alone the time off work was frustrating.

Doctors 3-10: May 26, 2010 I came down with a debilitating disease. An “I wish I was dead disease.” Supposedly it was H1N1 flu that turned into Crohn’s disease. It only took being shuffled around to 7 doctors and hundreds of horrible tests that challenged my anxieties.  

After 5 long years they finally came up with a diagnosis of Crohn’s Disease. Is Crohn’s that much of a mystery disease? For the first year I lost my lovn’ lumps to 80 pounds of weight loss. I could only eat eggs and Ensure. 

Then came the following years of episodes that lasted 3-4 days of labor-intensive stomach pains (I remember labor pains) and evacuation from both exit points. I was so happy to have dysentery show up because I knew I was one day away from being normal again. Oh, did I mention my career went down the toilet too? 

So, when the official diagnosis came around, I was so sick – near death – I had a blockage and had an operation to remove parts of me I thought I needed.  Wow that was an eye opener. I had never had a major operation before; this was a doozy.  

They flubbed up the first operation and had to go in again so I didn’t bleed to death. Then recovery in the hospital of what seemed to be a third world country. My reservation for a private room didn’t pan out so I ended up in a ward then cohabited with a sick man in a semi private room for a week. ‘Death by Hospital’ could be another book.  

A few days later the surgeon, who only performed the first operation (because he had to rush off to a conference) said “sorry about that but good news is you don’t have Crohn’s Disease anymore and can eat whatever you want”. Side note: no doctor ever said what I ate had any effect on Crohn’s Disease. Balderdash!!

Learn To Listen To Your Gut

So fast forward how was my quality of life after the operation?  Doctors didn’t educate me on the pitfalls of losing body parts. I’ve avoided doctors ever since. The main doctor that I saw about Crohn’s Disease issues I saw only once after the operation. He gave me a prescription for Crohn’s Disease. I thought I didn’t have Crohn’s Disease anymore? Without checking things out the doctor handed me a prescription to take that had side effects and precautions’ that looked worse than I felt. I still have them sitting in a bag that my husband kept saying “have you started your pills yet?”.  More challenges included sleep deprivation. Exercise and daily activities were difficult due to lack of energy.  Food choices were frustrating due to internal changes and sensitivities. 

I want my life back!!!


“If prayer is you talking to God, then intuition is God talking to you.”
– Dr. Wayne Dyer

 

Share This