My blog is not directed to anybody. But if the shoe fits you wear it, Cinderella.

To someone’s Happily Ever After you have to start, “Once upon a time….”

The first recorded story featuring a Cinderella-like figure dates to Greece in the sixth century BC. In that ancient story, a Greek courtesan named Rhodopis has one of her shoes stolen by an eagle, who flies it all the way across the Mediterranean and drops it in the lap of an Egyptian king.

In Disney’s version of Cinderella, she was a destitute young woman under the guise of a family member, with a malevolent step mom.

A magical night with a young prince turned to reality at the stroke of midnight. As she went fleeing into the night, she lost one of her glass slippers.

In each version the shoe seems to symbolize the stepping out of an unpleasant circumstance into a more appealing life. It was also a sign to the royal household a soon to be princess needed to be found.

In each scenario the vision of a king or possibly a prince could bring a better life to our Cinderella than the current environment she was living in.

It is a lovely thought, possibly a dream of many young girls of being swept away by a handsome prince.

But…. Is this proverb good advice for Cinderella or anyone?

Another Scenario

The Princess lived happily ever after in her own big castle with all of her own money and she took care of herself. The End.

There is always more than one choice in life.

What did Cinderella really know about the prince?

When that shoe fit, the mantle that went with that responsibility maybe was not a good fit for her.

Cinderella should have thought long and hard before she accepted trying on that shoe.  A Happily Ever After might not be behind that façade.

Cinderella was 19 when she married.

Sometimes we go blindly into relationships or jobs bedazzled by the possibilities but again is it a good fit?

I was 16 when my Prince Charming entered my life. I did have criteria what this person must be like.

  • A gentleman
  • A spiritual background
  • A solid family
  • Smart, ability to partner in a solid future for family
  • Good with children.

That is a pretty impressive list for someone still in their teens.

If The Shoe Fits Wear It.

If we transport ourselves to the here and now, this saying means something similar but different.

If something belongs to or pertains to you – accept it.

For Cinderella the shoe belonged to her, so she readily accepted the position that came with it.

At 19 I accepted the role of becoming a wife.

If the shoe fits you wear it.

Over the next 10 years 6 pregnancies, resulting in 5 children. I’m now a mom.

If the shoe fits, I had to wear it.

Note:

In your 20’s maybe the shoes you should be wearing are hiking shoes or runners. It’s a time in your life you need to wander to find yourself.

Come to think of it, your story is never over so… Take the time to wander when you can, at any stage of life.

Trying to force on shoes that don’t fit in the long run can cause blisters, sores, maybe even amputation.

In life can we change shoes to fit our needs along the way?

I remember in my career when ever I put on a Gala the dress and shoes you wear need to fit the attire for a black-tie evening. At the end of the event, I had a comfortable pair of shoes in my bag to carry me through the clean up.

My daughter told me once when she was in her 20’s, its better to look good than feel good. Now in her 40’s I should ask her opinion on that again.

Labels are for jars not people

Placing labels on people is also a dangerous game. You need to think it through and not necessarily accept it.

Cinderella’s wicked step mom made her think she had no worth. She treated Cinderella like a scullery maid. The cold-hearted stepmother did not harm her stepdaughter physically. Rather, she sought to punish and abuse her psychologically. Motivated by her jealousy of Cinderella being far more beautiful than her own awkward daughters.

The outside world, your environment, even your parents or partners can attach labels to you.

You’re not smart enough. If the shoe fits wear it.

You have no common sense. If the shoe fits wear it.

You’re always late. If the shoe fits wear it.

Even if the shoe fits that doesn’t mean I’m going to wear it;I don’t want to wear someone else’s smelly old shoe, I’d rather go barefoot.”

– Toni Sorenson

Cinderella” was a mean-spirited nickname given by her stepsisters. They called her that because she was forced to sleep in the cinders by the fireplace, leaving her dirty. “Cinderella” meant something like “little cinder girl”.

Did Cinderella believe the labels that were put on her?

Self-sabotage 

We can do it to ourselves too.

When you make a mistake on a report, you might label yourself dumb. Labels may seem innocuous, but they can be harmful. Labeling ourselves can negatively affect our self-esteem and hold us back.

Labels are not always negative though. They can reflect positive characteristics, set useful expectations, and provide meaningful goals in our lives.

“Give a girl the right shoes, and she can conquer the world.”

– Marilyn Monroe

People are going to label you.  It’s how you overcome those labels, that’s what counts.

A Step in The Right Direction

Do the work to find the type and size of shoe that’s a good fit. Ignore the labels:

  • Focus on the present, not the past. Sometimes, unaware, past experiences influence our current decisions.  When injustices have been done to us, we over compensate thinking this new life will be better.
  • Think about the future and what you really want before you make any decisions.
  • Make sure you’re attracted to the person/job not the idea of the relationship or position.
  • Talk about key points that are important to your future, not fulfilling an other’s demands.
  • Meet the family or new co workers. Do your expectations and personalities blend well?
  • Does being yourself fit into the new environment.
  • Teamwork. Are you going to be part of a team or a silent partner?

Make sure your life decisions are based on reality not a fantasy life or expectations of others.

I have put on many shoes in my life. I am lucky most fit without putting much thought into it. I arbitrarily wore the shoes of wife, mother, daughter, friend, socialite, volunteer and patient. I have ended up with some blisters and sores but no amputations yet.

In my opinion, I think Cinderella knew she was meant for better things not the labels that were put on her

Our spirit can override the negative voices of others.


“Happily Ever After is not a Fairy Tale. It’s a choice.”

– Fawn Weaver
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